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Recommended Readings

There are lots of very good books out there, and some terrible ones.

Here is my take on them.

First, Read These

Pease, A., Signals, How To Use Body Language For Power, Success and Love, Bantam Books, New York, 1984 - A practical guide to body language. It is out of print but you may find a used copy. It is the best first book on body language.

Louis and Copeland, How to succeed with women or Louis and Copeland, How To Succeed With Men, see below for details.

Rabin, S., How To Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace, The Smart Guide To Flirting, Plume, New York, 1993 - A practical guide to meeting and dating. She knows what she's talking about.

Burns, D., Feeling Good, Avon Books, New York, 1980 - Cognitive Emotive therapy dealing specially with depression.

Burns, D., Intimate Connections, Signet, New York, 1985 - Cognitive emotive therapy dealing specifically with romantic relationships. It identified and explains many semi-conscious assumptions that get in the way of meeting people and starting relationships.

Seligman, M., Learned Optimism, Pocket Books, New York, 1990 - Optimistic and pessimistic explanatory styles and how to change yours.

De Angelis, B., The Real Rules, Dell, New York, 1997 - A professional's response to The Rules Pease, A.,

Aron, E., I The Highly Sensitive Person, Broadway Books, New York, 1997 - The origins, weaknesses and strengths of very sensitive people. Just knowing that there is a reason that you are senitive really helps.

Carducci, B., Shyness - A Bold New Approach, Harper Collins, New York, 1999 - Shyness studied. I don't know what's new or bold about it, but the books on shyness don't stay in print for long. It helps shy people to understand that its not a crime or a fault, just irrational assumptions.

Firestone, R, Fear Of Intimacy, American Psychological Association, Washington, D.C. 1999 - The psychological underpinnings of relationship problems. It was written for therapists, but if you really want to know the horrifying truth, here it is!

For Men Only

Louis and Copeland, How to succeed with women, Parker Publishing Company, New York, 1998 - A practical guide to meeting and dating women.

For Women Only

Louis and Copeland, How To Succeed With Men, Prentis Hall, New York, 2000 - A practical guide to meeting and dating men, but omit Chapter 2 as bad advice.

Avoid Like The Plague (because they are) These Titles...

The Rules by Fein and Schnieder

How To Marry The Man Of Your Choice by Margaret Kent

Chapter Two of How To Succeed With Men by Copeland and Louis

The above promote the idea that the goal is to acquire a marriage certificate. If that is what you really want, I can arrange for a "husband" to be delivered to your trailer door within 24 hours. But I would hope that you're not that naïve. Men (and women) are not like bowling pins, you can't fit them into a slot and expect them to behave.